“It’s the day of the bride” is a phrase that should be forgotten. Of course, there are always exceptions (some grooms just prefer to have free hands), but most couples now decide to plan their significant day together. Hooray for this long overdue revision of gender norms, especially at a time when we are also celebrating LGBT+ marriage.

In this regard, it is also important to realize that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. No one is great at all (if it came to that, we would all become Beyoncé). Therefore, the competence-based distribution of tasks is a necessary first step in the wedding planning process.

Easier said than done, right? Not necessarily, at least according to Jennifer Price of Event Shoppe Chicago. “Every good marriage is one that ensures that the couple’s love story is told through the details of the marriage. It’s right that both parties are planning a wedding,” she says. “It happens when you plan together and no one is overwhelmed with tasks.”

Know your strengths

It can be difficult to recognize (or even accept) your weaknesses, especially in stressful situations such as planning a wedding. But an open conversation with yourself and your abilities is the first thing that needs to be done before the energy or resources are exhausted.

“Can you admit that you are a great thinker, but not super detailed? Are you sure enough to say that I’m not that organized and a “figure,” Price asks. “These things help when it comes to separating the wedding work. It’s nice to be yourself – every player in the team gets a master ring, just like both sides of the newlyweds get a big wedding anniversary.”

Ask yourself and your soulmate to make a list of what you are good at and highlight the tasks from it. This process is not only necessary, but also an interesting way to learn even more about each other if you are planning important moments in your new life together.

Choose the best three

The key point is prioritization. There are many elements, traditions and preferences that lead to a successful marriage. It is important to reduce concentration in order to be on the same page, which is most important.

“We advise our couples to sit down and choose three important things for both of you before you start planning your wedding,” says Price. “These “Big three” help with many topics such as budget and concentration, but also help with the distribution of tasks. If one partner chooses cakes, music and food, and the other offers decor, ceremony and souvenirs, then everyone has their own work, and you know what to focus on.

If there are matches, Price recommends that these are the categories where couples can plan together and which “don’t seem like a routine chore”.Just make sure that the responsibilities are balanced to avoid quarrels in the future.

Hire a wedding organizer

Wedding organizers are industry experts who can make everything much simpler and more organized, so you can focus only on what you are passionate about or what you think your engagement requires.

“There may be things that couples just hate, like budgeting or managing an invited list,” Price says, “and often people postpone tasks that they don’t like.”

“Wedding planning is not the place where you can deal with it. Time passes, days pass, and the wedding day will come before you have time to look around. Do not doubt. Just rewrite it and outsource it to your wedding organizer,” she adds.

Do not exclude the possibility of attracting a wedding organizer, because you do not think that you can afford it. Wedding planning packages can also be adapted to different budgets. While some couples opt for a complete service with all the trimmings, they may work with a planner to adjust and revise it depending on their own financial situation and their overall goals.